Emmalina gapes at him for a moment, then presses a hand to her face in exhaustion. "I don't exactly know," she admits. "I'm sorry, I know, it's the least helpful thing, but I'm bad at this. I've never had to think about what I want before. I just-" her stomach twists. "I just saw you with her, and." And you're one of the few good things that's happened to me but no way is she actually saying that, "And it hurt."